In the stillness before dawn, when the world is quiet, I often reflect on the winding path that has brought me to this moment. Over the years, I've come to understand one essential truth: even in the darkest moments, God's presence was with me. Just as Psalm 139 promises: "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there" (Psalm 139:7-8, NIV).
Roughly one in five adult Americans lived with an alcoholic while growing up, according to the National Association for Children of Alcoholics. For the tens of millions who are adult children of alcoholics, my story is all too familiar. I wrote mine this spring—Shadows of Sobriety: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Healing a Family Legacy—after decades of carrying it in my heart.
For years, I wrestled with pain, grief, guilt, disappointment, and a deep well of anger. But as I began to put words to those emotions, I realized that writing this memoir wasn't just about revisiting the past. It was about healing. It was a journey of letting go, of recognizing that God had been guiding me all along, even when I couldn't yet see it. I often asked myself whether my siblings and I could ever truly escape the legacy of our past—the violence that echoed through our home, the chaos that left us clinging to silence, and the pain that felt impossible to heal. But through reflection and God's grace, I've realized that we don't have to escape it—we can be transformed by it.
Though my early life in Texas in the 1950s and 60s was marked by challenges—growing up in a home shaped by my father's alcoholism and my mother's struggles—what defines me today is the grace that is mine through Christ. His presence is woven through every part of my life, and His inspiration comes in many forms. I've found God's peace not only in moments of deep prayer but also in nature—the whisper of wind through the trees, the majesty of mountains, the quiet of ethereal gardens, the stillness of a starry night, and the steady rhythm of hiking rugged trails in the high desert. In those moments, as my boots hit the uneven ground and the world falls away, I feel connected to something greater, a reminder that God's creation reflects His love and order, even when life feels chaotic.
God also worked through people—neighbors who cared for me, coaches who pushed me to grow, teachers who believed in my potential, and close friends who spoke comforting words when I needed them most. Cherished relatives provided love and support, filling the gaps when I felt lost. My grandmother played a pivotal role in my faith journey. She gave me my first Bible in 1977 and brought me to Christ, planting seeds of faith that would sustain me through life's hardest moments. In the workplace, Christian mentors guided me with wisdom and spiritual insight, helping me navigate professional and personal challenges through the lens of faith.
Our church communities in Texas and Illinois were vital. Through the body of Christ, I learned to see God's love in action—in the warmth of fellowship, shared prayers, and the unwavering support of believers. Whether in worship, Bible studies, or quiet conversations, I found inspiration in the way God's love was reflected in the lives around me. The church has been a constant reminder that we are never alone in our struggles.
The Bible has long been my source of wisdom and comfort. Verses like Psalm 23, reminding me that "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want," and Isaiah 40:31, which speaks of renewing strength by hoping in the Lord, anchored me during times of uncertainty. The more I reflected on Scripture, the more I saw God's hand in my life—guiding, comforting, and inspiring me through every trial.
Above all, God's greatest act of faithfulness is the gift of His Son, Jesus Christ, who died on the cross for my sins. Through His shed blood, my sins have been cleansed. It is through this ultimate act of love and redemption that I have found true peace, healing, and purpose.
Perhaps the most powerful realization I've come to is that God's presence is woven into every part of our lives, often in ways we don't immediately recognize. Through nature, people, Scripture, and community, He is always offering inspiration, comfort, and guidance. While the journey hasn't always been easy, I now see that God is not only present in the struggles but also in the moments of beauty and connection that bring us closer to Him.
As I look back on my life, I no longer focus on the hardships that once defined me. Instead, I celebrate the many ways God has revealed Himself to me—through His creation, through the people who have touched my life, and through His Word. Philippians 4:7 reminds us that "the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I've entered a season of peace, and from this place of peace, I reflect on God's enduring faithfulness, celebrating the many ways He has inspired and guided me.
Proverbs 27:19 tells us: "As water reflects the face, so one's life reflects the heart" (NIV). My journey has shown me that as our hearts are transformed by God's grace, so too is the way we live and interact with the world around us. His love is the reflection that has shaped me into the person I am today.
Wherever you are on your journey, I encourage you to look for God's presence—in the beauty of nature, in the kindness of others, in the pages of Scripture, and in the fellowship of believers. He is always with us, offering His grace and inspiration, guiding us through the shadows and into the light.
