Finding Peace in the Shadows: A Reflection on Life, Loss, and the Unspoken ‘Thank You’

There’s a song that’s been on my mind a lot lately – “Hear You Me” by Jimmy Eat World. It’s one of those songs that cuts deep, especially when you're reflecting on life, loss, and all the unspoken words that linger. The band is known for their early 2000s music, which brought raw emotion and reflection into the hearts of many. The lyrics ask, “What would you think of me now? So lucky, so strong, so proud?” – and I find myself thinking of all the people in my life, both past and present, who I never got the chance to truly thank. It’s the regret we all carry sometimes, isn’t it? The people who gave us a place to go, who lifted us up when we needed it most, and now, for many of them, we never get that one more chance to say what we should have said.

As I’ve written Shadows of Sobriety, these thoughts have become even more real. The memoir is my way of processing those sleepless nights, those lost opportunities to heal and to honor the people in my life who shaped me – whether through love, struggle, or even pain. I’ve shared my story, but it’s really the story of all the people who touched my life. Some are gone now, some are still here. For my sisters, for my parents, for those I never fully understood in their lifetime – this memoir is my way of finally saying “thank you”. Of asking, “what would you think of me now?”

There’s a verse that keeps coming to mind: “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy” (Philippians 1:3-4). It speaks to the gratitude I feel now, even for those I never had the chance to fully thank in life. Shadows of Sobriety is my way of remembering, of lifting those prayers and offering that long-overdue thank you.

It’s about healing a legacy, about redemption, and about the roads we travel when sleep won’t come, when the weight of the past still presses on our hearts. As the song says, “May angels lead you in.” And in some way, I hope this book serves as my way of leading in those memories, bringing light to the shadows, and offering peace to those who are no longer with us.

Shadows of Sobriety is more than my story – it’s a reflection of all of us who’ve faced the darkness, who’ve been shaped by our pasts, and who are still on the journey to find healing. For those who gave us some place to go, and for those we never got to thank in time, this one is for you.